He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
by thefunkyspunkster
Summary: Katie and Mandy are fifth years at Hogwarts, friends with the Golden Trio, and complete spazzes. What happens when the best friends start getting pulled into the much more serious atmosphere of the upcoming war? Primarily Katie/Harry with some twists
1. Cucumbers and Craziness

Miranda Kelsey Stewart

**Miranda Kelsey Stewart**

_House_: Ravenclaw, for geeks like me! And proud of it!

_Parentage_: Half-Blood...My daddy is a wizard and my mum thought it was sexy...that's why I'm here...they got married...don't worry...

_Secret Crush_: Neville Longbottom. Klutzy is in, in my book! And those big hazel eyes...

_Best Friend_: Katherine (Katie) Alexandra (any nickname you can come up with) Darren. We're so close, we put the white on rice! Something my dad says, don't laugh. DON'T! IT'S MEAN! NOT COOL, MAN!

_Fave Color_: Lavender. I like the smell, too. It's soo...lavender! HUZZAH!

_Fave Nicknames_: Mandy. Nothing else, just...Mandy. Of course, KATIE thinks up MANY...er...interesting names for me...including Sugar Princess and Rory! Don't ask...just don't.

_What she is thinking_: You know, jellybeans are like sooooo addicting! I mean, they are like basically sugar pills and you get sooooo hyper off them!! Oh my gosh I just ate like a billion of them and now I am like soooo bouncy! I wonder what kind Neville likes? You know, I totally like pear but I also like lemon and orange and - **Katie puts her hand over her mouth Katie: Okaaay! On to me!**

**Katherine Alexandra Darren**

_House_: Gryffindor! I am brave girl, hear my roar!! **(Mandy: Meow...)** Aw, shut up KelBel!

_Parentage_: Pureblood. My Mum was bloody evil when I got into Gryffindor. She wanted me to be in Slytherin. But I'm not like that! She disowned me. I only miss my dad. He was nice, but he died two years ago. So Manders offered to let me move in with her family. Thank Merlin I met her on the train first year, otherwise I'd be all alone in my humongoid inherited mansion!

_Secret Crush(es)_: I admit it, I'm slightly...er...how shall I put it..."boy crazy." I liked Harry and Ron, but they're close friends of mine, so I got over it. Now I like George. He's the cool one. Fred tends to be a little ruthless in pillow fights. Somebody tell that man that tickling is expressly forbidden!!

_Fave Color_: Red. It's so brave, and it always reminds me of my old dad...

_Fave Nicknames_: Katie, Alex, Kad, Darren, Spazzmatazz, anything you can think of really! I like to think of myself as the Sugar Empress. Mandy's got nothing on me! I can get hyper on one grain of sugar! I was BORN hyper! That's why I'm in Gryffindor! I can embarrass everyone around me with one short word: "Boo."

_What she is thinking_: You know, if Hermione doesn't make a move, I will TOTALLY have to step in here! Same goes for Mandy! Honestly, she worships poor Neville! And he likes her back...I think. Not sure what goes on in his head sometimes...OOOOOH!! Is that a...CHOCOLATE BAR!! **visible strain** Must...keep..Resolution...Only...been...one...day...since...I...remade...it...**swallows chocolate whole** Ah well, it was bound to happen! At least I remade my resolution yesterday and not in January! Honestly, 5 months without chocolate?! You've got to be kidding me! **(Mandy: taps foot impatiently)** Oh, fine, Mand! I'll stop writing now!

Ok, Katie is a Metamorphmagus, and Mandy is an Animagus (snowy owl). Katie is INSANELY jealous, so she always changes her appearance. Normally, she is a 5'5" brunette, with pale skin and hazel eyes. Mandy is a 5'4", wavy haired redhead. She has pale skin with freckles, and sparkling blue-green eyes.

(My best friend used to write from Mandy's perspective, so that's why there are two different sides to the story.)

**Katie's POV**

"Mandy! Oh my God! I haven't seen you since...five minutes ago!!" I yelled dramatically as Mandy tumbled through the fireplace at Diagon Alley. She coughed, glaring comically at me.

"I am NEVER going by Floo Powder again." she grumbled as I dragged her up and pulled her down to Fred and George's new shop. According to them, they were planning on closing it during the school year. Why? I don't know. Apparently they think that they aren't through. I kinda agree, but I have to say, a joke shop is LOADS more fun than SCHOOL. "Oh, come on Mandy! I can't see why you hate the sensation of spinning around and around for a few minutes!" I giggled as we dodged the crowds. The only energy was in me and Mandy, as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had come back the year before. Harry still thought I was crazy for not saying his name, but it scares the willies outta me! I'm going to be one of the first targeted for recruits, considering I'm a pure-blood and that race is dying out. Ah...mah...gah...What is THAT?! I stopped stock still (heehee, say that five times fast with a lisp!) and stared at the twin's shop. Mandy came to a complete halt behind me, or rather, on my back.

"OW! Katie, come on, let's go inside. Maybe there's less silence!" she complained. I nodded wordlessly, still staring at the Weasley extravaganza as Mandy dragged me into the store.

"KATIE AND MANDY!! We thought that you'd never arrive!" beamed George. I blushed slightly, before hugging him tightly.

"Hiya, George! Ron, Harry, and Mione here yet? I needed to show them something!" I said calmly (yet hyperly, as usual, if that's even possible which it isn't). Fred answered for his brother.

"They're in the back. Go on, move! Harry needs to talk to you, Kally!" he said jovially, slapping me hard on the back. "Owwwww...that hurt, Mr. Violent-shopowner!" I teased, rubbing my shoulder. Fred poked me in the stomach and pushed me and Mandy towards the private rooms. Mandy! Oh, riiiiiiight...I always forget that she's there, because she seems to clam up around anyone besides me and Hermione. Occasionally with Harry and Ron, too. Why? I still don't know. It's a mystery. Especially since she's LOADS crazier than them!

"Mand, what's wrong? Come on, you're acting like you've seen Neville or something!" I joked, trying to get Mandy to say something. She looked over my shoulder with a dazed look on her face as we continued to walk. "I did, Kate. I saw Neville and he SMILED at me!" she stuttered after a minute or two. I rolled my eyes. _Man, the girl is OBSESSED!_ I thought as I wrinkled my nose. My brown hair turned blonde with red streaks, and my hazel eyes turned a bright turquoise shade. Mandy wrinkled her nose at me. "Pippin, you only do that when you've got a crush on someone. Now out with it! Who?" she begged. I smiled evilly. "Only if you can guess, with yes-or-no questions!" I answered as I opened the door to the room where my three friends were waiting for us.

"Ummmm...do I know him?" she asked first, her freckled forehead wrinkled in concentration. I laughed. "Of course you do!" Harry and Ron stood up and hugged me as Hermione hugged Mandy, then me.

"She knows who?" asked Harry, his emerald eyes filled with curiousity. My heart fluttered into my throat. _Oh no...I must be getting sick, because there is NO WAY that I have a crush on Harry freakin' Potter!_ I thought desperately. But some traitor part of me thought, _Giving up isn't getting over._

"Oh, my new crush!" I said with a smile. The Muggles lost a movie star in me! For some reason, I had to suppress the urge to smile foolishly when I saw a quick flash of jealousy in Harry's eyes before Mandy asked the next question.

"Is he in Gryffindor?" she asked, unaware of my flushing face and pounding heart. Heck, even _I_ was unaware of that! Just because it's true doesn't mean I have to be thinking, "Oh, gee, my face is really hot and my heart's beating pretty fast." Ok, so maybe it does mean that. It's not like I'm ADMITTING anything!

"Yuppers!" was my quickfire response as the door opened again and Neville walked in.

"Hey, Nevvy Wevvy! Wassup, my shy li'l friend? Have you gotten over your irrational fear of cucumbers yet?" I said brightly. Neville flushed. Poor guy, he always blushes around Mandy. It's sooooo cayuuuute!!

"Nooo..." he said, stuttering slightly. I grinned. "Sorry, I still think it's kind of funny! Why are you scared of them, again?" I asked. Ron cracked up.

"He's scared of cucumbers because last year, you enchanted one to fly after him, tickling him and stealing Trevor! Oh, yeah, and whacking him over the head every time he said the word 'um.'" Harry said, laughing. I blushed a little darker. "Hey, I thought it was funny! Come on, he hasn't said 'um' since!" I defended myself. Harry looked at me, still grinning, his beautiful eyes sparkling mischievously. Inwardly, I gulped as my heart thumped extra loudly. There was no denying it this time. That was definitely because of him. _Oh, shit-aki mushrooms..._

"Is he in our year?" asked Mandy, oblivious to the glazed look on my face and the obvious reason for my even darker (now it's close to fire-truck red) blush. Unable to do anything else, I nodded.


	2. Blushing Fools and Just Plain Fools

Miranda Kelsey Stewart

**Mandy's POV**

He smiled at me! I looked up and there he was, a shy grin stretching from one blushing cheek to the other. His shining hazel eyes gave me a rush as our gazes connected. I felt my ears turn hot under my waves of red hair and a reddish tinge spread across my face. The corners of my mouth turned up timidly as I smiled back. Everything else in the crammed shop seemed to fade away until it was just us, foolishly grinning at one another in our own little world. Then we both looked away. Abruptly, the rest of the world came into my senses, and I blinked twice, trying to clear my head, the smile not quite faded from my face.

"Mand, what's wrong?" asked Katie, my best friend ever. "Come on, you're acting like you've seen Neville or something!"

I looked over my shoulder as Katie led me toward the back room of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, but he was gone.

"I did, Kate. I saw Neville, and he SMILED at me!"

So maybe I overreact when it comes to Neville. Just a little. But I swear, if I ever marry anyone, it'll be him. I don't know if it's the way his eyes sparkle in Herbology, or how cute it is when he tries so hard in Transfiguration, or the way he blushes when he smiles, but I am truly and completely in love with Neville Longbottom. One small drawback - as far as I know, he doesn't have a clue.

Welcome to my life. Me. Miranda Stewart. I'm known as "The Spaz" among my Ravenclaw friends. I'm highly addicted to Bertie Bott's. I have instant scream reflex, I'm in love with a dork, and I tend to tapdance spontaneously.

Yep. Me in a nutshell.

We hung out in the back of the shop for a short while with Katie's friends. I don't know Harry, Ron, or Hermione very well because we're in different houses, but we get along ok. Katie mentioned that she had a crush (ok, so maybe I found out!) and I tried to guess who for a bit. Then Neville came in. I debated between trying to act natural and admire him from a distance vs. stare at him flat-out. I guess the staring won.

"Hey Fred, what's up?" I heard Ron say after a while. I snapped back into focus when he walked into the room.

"The shop's not too busy right now, so I was wondering if you lot would fancy a bite to eat." Fred grinned. "We drew straws and I lost, so George is staying here."

"Shut up, we're not that bad! Where are we going?" Katie bounced with excitement. As usual. She's always bouncing about _something_.

"Nowhere special, just the Leaky Cauldron. You know, to celebrate our last week of summer vacation."

We started walking over to the Leaky Cauldron. Katie caught up to Harry and Ron, and I walked by myself. It was a bright afternoon, but a little windy, and I was glad to be in my favorite Muggle jeans and purple sweater. No, not purple, LAVENDER!! I cracked myself up just by thinking that. Ron turned around and stared at me. I blushed, realizing too late that I had laughed out loud. Katie flipped around to see what Ron was staring at and dragged me up to hang out with them, rolling her eyes all the while. Me being shy sometimes puts a damper on her mental fiesta.

"What's so funny?" Ron asked, obviously thinking I was a nerd.

"Nothing, I was just thinking..."

Katie jumped in. "Oh, don't mind her, she was just listening to the voices in her head." Katie looked at Ron seriously. "They tell her jokes, you know. Their jokes are much better than yours."

"Shut UP, Skatie Lady!" I smacked Katie on the arm. In the corner of my vision I saw someone catch up to us, and I turned.

"Hi, Mandy." It was Neville. I froze.

"I...um..."  
_What do I say? WHAT DO I SAY?_ My brain wasn't working right. Usually (ha, yeah RIGHT!) I could just talk to him somewhat normally, but I hadn't had time to prepare my dialogue in this case.  
"Uhh..."

_SAY SOMETHING INTELLIGENT!_ My mind was screaming at me.  
"Um...hi, Neville."

I inwardly kicked myself. _Intelligent, my butt!_ The snappy little voice in my head was dripping with disdain. I mentally shoved my conscious out of the way as we approached the Leaky Cauldron.

"So, how's your summer been going? I haven't seen you since school let out." Neville looked at me with his gloriously hazel eyes. _Did that mean he missed me??_ I inwardly jumped with glee.

"Er...fine...um, Katie and I went to California for a while...But we aren't really supposed to talk about it much..." I said shyly. He held the door open for me as we walked into the Leaky Cauldron. My heart skipped a beat. "...it was great, though. Um...how's your summer been?"

"Pretty boring. But I did get a magnificent cutting of Mimbulous Mimbletonia! I could show it to you, sometime..." He lowered his eyes shyly. "...if you'd like..."

"I'd love to see it!" I grinned. My face grew hot as he beamed back.

The rest of the time in the Leaky Cauldron passed in a blur. Katie sat Neville next to me, playing matchmaker as always. I reminded myself to thank her afterwards. I blushed through all three courses, though especially when Neville discovered, to his horror, that there were cucumbers in his salad. He pushed his plate away and scooted closer to me (though not close enough...tee hee!). Finally, Fred decided that it was time for the final round of butterbeers for everyone, because according to him, it was past our bedtime. Being around 7, it was his idea of a funny joke. Mhmm. If he thinks we're so young, then why is he staring at Katie so much?!

"A toast!" Fred cried gallantly. "To summer's end, and to new beginnings."

And with that, we clinked our mugs and said goodnight.

**Katie's POV**

"Candy Land lady! Dude, yo, homie, STOP FRIEKING RUNNING!!" Always nice to start out the day with a little attitude and screaming, don't you think? Well, that's how I feel when I have a bad bout of unrequited love. Love sucks. Especially when a certain boy that you THINK you can trust just turns around and blabs your most precious secret!! Urgh. I will KILL that Seamus Finnigan. Why can't he just ask Rae out? I mean, it's SOOOOOOOO obvious that he likes her! And she's head over heels for him! So why won't he GO for it? Oh, right! Sorry, totally forgot about you guys! Heeheehee...

"Katie, if you were in shape, you would be able to keep up with me!" teased Mandy. I swear to Godric, I will KILL that girl. Or set her up on a blind date with Neville. Ooooooo...I like that idea! Sadly, just as I began my evil plot, I ran into a solid form. Yes, that solid form happened to be Harry.

_**Flashback**_

_"Hey, Katie, Harry likes you!" teased Seamus. _Wow, really?_ I thought._

"Really?" I asked.

"No." he answered, laughing like the git he is.

Darn._ I thought. Sadly, I thought out loud._

"Darn? Wait, but that means-" I swear to Godric, you could see the wheels churning in his thick baboon skull.

Seamus ran off to tell Dean. I sprinted after him, yelling "Don't tell!" at the top of my lungs. I finally caught up with him, right next to Flourish and Blotts. I managed to stutter out through my gasping, "Please, Seamus, please swear you won't tell." Seamus nodded glumly. Then he left and dragged Dean with him.

_End Flashback_

I looked up, startled and breathless. Needless to say, the sight of Harry didn't exactly help me catch my breath. I instantly went red as a tomato.

"Oh, er, hi, Harry, nice to meet-I mean, nice to see you again, um, yeah, well, I have to go, er, see you around, or not, hopefully, um, yeah, bye!" I stammered. Harry just looked down at me worriedly.

"This is going to ruin our friendship, isn't it?" he asked. I nodded mutely, embarrassed beyond words. "Look, Katie, it's not that I don't like you. I do! You're really awesome, and one of the coolest people I know. But-" I stood abashedly, not registering the compliments he had paid me. "I like someone else." Ouch. I felt like someone had taken a hammer and whacked me as hard as they could in the middle of my stomach. Or maybe a freight train ran into me. Whoops, my bad. A midget first year had just run into me with his trolley. I helped the poor guy out, just to give myself something to do.

"Hey, do you need help?" I asked kindly. The little boy shook his head mutely, probably almost as embarrassed as me. I helped him to reload all his belongings back onto his trolley. When I looked up, Harry had gone through he barrier.

I walked slowly through the brick wall and onto the train. I was oblivious to everything and everyone. _Of COURSE he likes someone else, you git!_ I scolded myself. _Cho Chang, remember? How COULD I have even DREAMED I would ever have a CHANCE with him? He's PERFECT!_

By the time I found Mandy in our usual compartment, I was near tears. The scolding I had just given myself was enough to scare my worst enemy. I was practically hyperventilating by the time I saw who she was sitting with. Harry James Potter. Of all people on the train, my best friend was sitting with the one person I did not want to see under any circumstances for at least three days.

"Mand? I need to talk to you for a second." I said. Mandy looked up, surprised at my almost emotionless voice. Usually, I'd have at least a hint of humor in my voice, or anger, or really anything. I'm not the best at hiding my emotions. She stood up, trying to figure out what had wrought this change in me, and followed me to the hall. I pushed my newly auburn hair out of my face.

"Katie, what's wrong?" she asked sympathetically. I just looked at her, trying as hard as I could not to cry. It's incredibly hard to regain control of your emotions when you can't even control your breathing. Then again, all my self-control had always gone out the window around Harry. I was going to have to fix that.

"Mandy, promise me one thing." I said, choking slightly over the words. Hey, _you_ try talking without crying when you feel like someone just stomped on your heart! She nodded quickly, tucking her fire-truck red hair behind her ear.

"Anything, Katie," she answered, looking severely uncomfortable with the situation. Mandy's not really one for big scenes at the best of times, and her best friend having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the train definitely does not qualify as the best of times.

"Promise me that you won't let me act like an idiot about boys this year."

Mandy just stood there, not understanding me. And that's when I lost it for real. I just grabbed my trunk and ran down the train to the first empty compartment I saw, locked the door, and had myself a nice long cry. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do. Once I regained my senses, however, I had come to a conclusion: No matter how much I like Harry, I would not let him control my life any more. I would get over him, and I would get out of this situation. Nothing sucks quite as much as having a crush on your best guy friend.


	3. Memory Charms and Potted Plants

Miranda Kelsey Stewart Mandy's POV

I chased Katie out the door. _Why was she so emo?_ I thought to myself. _Must be that time of month,_ I decided. Unfortunately, her compartment was locked and most likely silenced, so I couldn't talk to her or anything. I tried banging on the door but she couldn't hear me. Sighing with exasperation, I turned, and bumped straight into...Neville!

"Oh...sorry, Neville." I was blushing.

"Mandy! Hi!" His face shone with a smile. "Got a compartment yet?"

I glanced toward Katie's compartment, biting my lip, but then decided she probably wanted to be alone right now. I turned back to Neville, matching his grin.

"Not yet. Let's go find one." We walked together through the corridor, glancing through the glass doors of the compartments, all of which were full. Finally, we reached the last carriage, where we found Luna Lovegood and a girl with fiery red hair that I recognized as Ron's sister, Ginny. Luna I knew from Ravenclaw; she was always sitting by the fire in the common room reading an article from _The Quibbler_, of which her father was the editor. Today was no different, except for the fact that she was on a train instead of in an overstuffed armchair. I slid the door open.

"Hi, Luna." Luna glanced up from her magazine, regarding me with her unusually large eyes. "Would you mind if we sat here?" As Luna nodded and went back to her latest issue of _The Quibbler_, Ginny looked up, too.

"Oh, hi Neville! And...Mandy, isn't it?" I nodded. "Sit down!" Ginny gestured to the seats opposite her and Luna. We sat down. After about fifteen awkward minutes, Harry, Ron, and Hermione came in, out of breath.

"Hey, Mandy, did you find Katie?" Harry panted. I felt sorry for the poor guy. It wasn't his fault that Katie liked him! But it was betray my best friend or my best friend's crush. Three guesses what I chose.

"No, sorry, Harry. I gave up. I'm pretty sure she'll get over it by tomorrow, though." I winced inwardly. I knew she wouldn't. I cast around for a change of subject. When I didn't find one, I went back to Katie's emo-ish-ness. "Harry, you really hurt her, I'm sorry to say." The oblivious boy just looked at me. I sighed frustratedly. "Look, most girls are like glass. They shatter at the slightest blow. But Katie? Well, she used to be glass. But living with her family for fourteen years can do amazing things. So we all thought she was made of titanium or something because she never cried, she never got hurt. But in reality, she's titanium coated glass, and I think that you just might have managed to melt off the titanium and made her willing to put her feelings out in the open. Which shattered her glass. So now, she's broken and she in all actuality will be attempting to find a time-travel spell so she can go back to the time when you didn't know so she could keep you from finding out." Wow. Now, doesn't that seem like it could get through the thick head of even the dumbest of boys? But surprise, surprise. It didn't. All that happened to _Harry_ was that his mouth dropped and he started spouting heroic nonsense.

"I didn't mean to hurt her! If I say sorry will she forgive me? Damn it! I'm going to kill Seamus! Why did he have to tell me? I'd murder anyone who hurts her, so why did I have to?!" And again, wow. Yeah, of course he's her knight in shining armor. But, of course, most likely not for long. Even though Katie is an amazing witch, even she can overdo things. And her most beloved excess is crushes. I think that a lot of the time, she doesn't really even like the guys that she goes gaga over. Honestly. She just likes having a bit of drama in her life, nothing wrong with that. It's just that sometimes, she takes it too far. Like pity dates, and this whole mess. I'm not sure if she really likes Harry or just thinks she does, but I'm willing to bet that she talked herself into it.

"Well, Ron and I need to go to the prefect carriage," Hermione said, breaking the silence. I guess I lost myself inside my head for a bit.

"Right," said Harry. "I'm going to...to go for a walk." He looked like he needed to blow off some steam. They left, shutting the compartment door behind them, leaving Neville, Ginny, Luna, and me in an uncomfortable silence.

"So..." I said, biting my lip. "Anyone know any good jokes?" Ginny raised her eyebrows at me, and we both laughed at my sorry attempt to start a conversation. Thankfully, Neville was better at it.

"Oh, Mandy, I brought my new plant, if you want to see..."

"Mimbulus mimbletonia, right?" He nodded. "Yeah, cool!" I hadn't forgotten his offer to show it to me that night at The Leaky Cauldron. It wasn't just because HE said it, either (although that may have been part of it); I really was interested. Herbology is one of my favorite subjects.

Neville fished out of his bag a cactus-like plant with little bumps all over it. It was beating softly, like a heart pumping. I leaned closer to the grey little plant. "Wow!"

Ginny eyed the Mimbulus Mimbletonia. "Well, does it do anything?"

"It's got an amazing defense mechanism! Here - um - Mandy - could you - " His toad was escaping. I grabbed it and held it up to my face.

"Hey Trevor!" I stroked his head, and he licked me.

Neville looked up, quill in hand. "I think he likes you," he said with a small smile. "Ok, watch this..." He held the plant up to eye level and prodded it with the quill.

Instantly, green goo shot out of every single bump on the plant, hitting me full in the face. I shrieked (instant scream reflex, what can I say?) and almost dropped Trevor. As I wiped the awful-smelling slime out of my eyes with my arm, I saw Ginny had it in her hair, and it was all over Luna's magazine. Then I looked at Neville; he was absolutely covered in the stuff, and looking just as surprised as I was.  
I couldn't help it - I started to giggle. I mean, think about it. I'm sitting next to my crush, holding his toad, and we're both covered in smelly goop! All because of a potted plant! This is the least romantic setting I could have imagined!

Neville shook his head like a dog to get some of it out of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he gasped. "I'd heard it had a fascinating defense mechanism...I just didn't think it would be so..."

"Explosive?" I finished for him with a smile. "That was _amazing_! I examined the tiny little plant. "I mean, where did it _get_ all that..."

"Stinksap," Neville said. I looked up at him and smiled. "Oh, gosh, it's all over you!" he said with an apologetic smile. "Here, let me - "

Neville leaned closer and wiped some of the Stinksap off of my cheek. Suddenly, it was like someone had pressed the Pause button by accident on the Remote Of Life. Maybe they had gotten up to get more jellybeans and stepped on it or something. All I know is that we both froze, his first two fingers still resting on my cheek, looking into eachother's eyes, and I thought _"You know, for the least romantic setting I could have imagined, this isn't half bad..."_

Katie's POV

I sat-okay, **sulked**- in my compartment for about an hour. Then the trolley lady came, followed by my favorite twins. That's when I opened the door. And then I noticed the trio staking out my evil lair. Mua-hahahahahaaaa!! I rule the train!! Okay, MOVING ON from my slightly delusional fantasies.

"Hey guys! How's the dynamic duo?" I asked cheerfully to the pranksters. Hey, just 'cause I felt bad about the whole Harry-doesn't-like-me dealie doesn't mean I can't be happy! Except for the whole losing-Morphing-powers-due-to-emotional-breakdown. Yeah, that part sucks. Especially since I almost never stay with my…

"Natural hair color," Fred commented to George.

"DENIAL!" he replied as they dragged me back inside the compartment.

"What? NO!! I need my candy!!" I whined when the Golden Gang joined us. I'm going to MURDER those turncoats for helping them out!! Grrrr...FRED AND GEORGE, BEWARE MY WRATH!! Hermione rolled her eyes at my half-hearted comment and magically locked the door. I sank into my seat in between the twins and smiled weakly. "Any chance I have a get-out-of-jail-free card?"

For once, Harry didn't even smile at my random question. Wow. Wait, I never even NOTICED that he always smiled at me whenever I said something that might possibly be classified as 'cute.' I guess it's true, that you only notice something's missing when it's gone. He leaned forward, looking worried. "Katie, I'm sorry if I hurt you! It's just, well, I like Cho! And your parents would seriously MURDER you, and you're my best friend!" he burst out. I glared at him.

"You-you selfish GIT!" I yelled. Harry looked shocked. Good. Hermione opened her mouth to interrupt. Not good. "Hermione Jane Granger, don't even **think** about interrupting me. I need to straighten some things out." She sighed, defeated for the moment. Yeah, I can be pretty menacing when I choose to be, or when I get TOTALLY pissed off by some person who has got an ego three times the size of the USA! "Harry James Potter, I started crying because of humiliation, my parents kicking me out, complete and total betrayal by a trusted friend, and my life being COMPLETELY screwed up. NOT because Seamus Finnigan told you that I liked you as more than a friend before bothering to get the full story! So you can go deflate your fat head RIGHT NOW and stop thinking that I want more!" I sat back and calmly nodded to Hermione. "Ok, you can talk now." Unfortunately, everyone now looked like goldfish. Harry was the first person to regain conscious thought.

"Sorry about adding to the emotional overload. What, are you going to go cut yourself in the bathroom now because I apologized? You could try to realize that I'm not a bloody psychic, woman!" he threw back sarcastically. Hermione gasped and shot me a panicked look. Ron looked in between Hermione and me. Fred and George just looked at me. Harry closed his eyes, and realized why Hermione had gasped. Or at least he thought he did. "Katie. Let me see your arm."

I held it out cheerfully. Harry looked at it then looked over at Hermione, who was giggling. "Yup, you just got FOOLED!" I burst out, cracking up. Hermione gave me a high five, secret agent style. What can I say? I happen to have a knack for lightening the mood! Stop laughing, you're just jealous! Heehee...Thank Merlin for Hermione's mind-reading talents, it's hard to believe that she dropped Divination!

Harry sighed, leaning back. "You really scared me there for a minute, Katie. I mean, REALLY scared me." I smirked wryly.

"What, you thought someone with a little-kid mind such as my own would seriously cut myself and watch the blood ooze out? Yeah, right. I understand pain, but I'm not psycho enough to think causing it on yourself is smart! Come ON, Harry. Just because I'm immature doesn't mean I need an older brother looking over my every move. Actually, that would be kind of nice if it was actually my older brother. Except he's not exactly the type of person that you'd want to be close to," I said thoughtfully. Harry looked at me closely.

"Katie. You're trying to change the subject from what it was originally," he said quietly. I groaned.

"Harry. Do we HAVE to talk about this? I mean, wouldn't it just be better to just ignore the whole thing and move on in our lives?" I asked hopefully. Aaaaaaand...it didn't work.

"Katie, please. I need to know that we're cool, and that our friendship can still work out! I've SEEN you avoid friends before, and I don't want that to happen to us! I meant what I'd said about you being my best friend. I can tell you ANYTHING, and you never ridicule me. I can even come to you for advice on what to do with girls! Which, I admit, is kind of weird, because of this whole thing, so that'll probably stop, but anyways-" he started, but I cut him off.

"No. Harry, come on. Do you see what's already happening? It's awkward. We can only save our friendship if we completely move on from what happened. Which mean Memory Charms," I said seriously. Hermione quickly pulled out her wand before Harry could say no and before I could change my mind, and wiped the whole incident from everyone who is on the train's mind. Except it didn't work on me and Mandy. Because she worked out a charm after the Lockhart incident in second year so that unless we were performing it on ourselves, it wouldn't work. So, basically, I had to use my acting skills.

"So, what were we talking about?" I asked cheerfully. Hermione put her wand away, frowning thoughtfully.

"I...don't remember!" she said, surprised. Harry shook his head like a wet dog.

"I had to say something really important, but I can't remember what it was!" he said confusedly. I grinned.

"Well, I don't think that this is actually the right compartment, so let's get back to Mandy, Neville, Ginny, and Luna! I need my trunk!" I said brightly. Ron nodded slowly and walked out, his brothers following him with Hermione and Harry after them. I stood behind the gang for a few seconds, and allowed myself a small sigh. I remembered. That was good. So now I know to never admit how I feel to him. It'll just end in tears. I shook my head and reassumed my happy look, even though inside I was deadly serious. Harry would never care for me as more than a friend, so why trouble him with my own feelings? I mean, COME ON. Who wants to be told that their best friend has been in love with him from the first game of Truth or Dare they ever played? Nobody, that's who. I walked to the other compartment and stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath in order to keep up my act. Then I opened the door, only to see everyone covered in green goop and Mandy holding Neville's toad. The trio looked as shocked as I felt, the twins having gone off to hang out with Lee Jordan.

"Mandy?" I managed to sputter. "What's going on in here?" Neville turned bright red as Mandy handed him Trevor. She gave me a shy smile, and I grinned widely and started to laugh. She laughed too, and soon the whole compartment was full of laughter and happiness. Except for a very small portion of my mind that kept on screaming, "Nothing will ever be right until Harry loves you too! Why are you LAUGHING! You should be sobbing your heart out!" Only I didn't listen to that voice. Even thought it was pretty much the only sane part of me at the moment, on that train ride. I had to ignore it if I wanted to even TRY to be happy with that awful memory of Harry's reaction that only Mandy could remember because of Hermione's skills with a wand. Thank Merlin she could sense the Charm being performed, or she might have brought it up.

Well, mostly there wasn't anything else on the train ride of much importance, except maybe Ron's record of fitting nine Chocolate Frogs in his mouth at once. Ew. Please, never ask me to watch him do that again. It was GROSS. I spent most of it staring out the window. I basically live in my head. It's better than admitting to myself everything that I try to deny.

Ok, tuning back in at the Great Hall!

"Harry, stop staring at Cho like that. You're being REALLY obvious!" I said matter-of-factly. Yeah, it hurt, but not as bad as it would have if he still knew. He shook himself and looked back at me.

"Wait, wasn't Roger Davies your old boyfriend?" he asked curiously. Cho was making out with Roger over at the Ravenclaw table where he was sitting instead of his own Hufflepuff table. Damn Harry's amazing memory!

"Yes he was. And he cheated on me, then dumped me, and then Ch- someone dyed my hair green when I was too shocked to be able to change it," I said bitterly. Not so much about the Roger-cheating-on-me part as the Cho-dyed-my-hair-green-and-Harry's-still-making-goo-goo-eyes-at-her part. OF COURSE, he didn't catch my slip-up.

"Oh. Why's he with CHO now?" he asked himself. I answered, knowing he didn't want an answer.

"She's the one he cheated with, so it's only natural for them to enjoy being able to snog in public. That phase'll end in about a week, and the arguments will start up because they'll both want their freedom to snog other people, and then they'll break up." Yeah, I've seen the circle of life LOADS of times. Why can't GUYS figure it out!?

"Oh. So in a few weeks, she'll be free again?" he asked. Honestly, do guys know ANYTHING about whores like Cho besides that she's pretty?

"No. In a few weeks, she'll be with the guy that she cheated on Roger with and he'll be with the girl that he cheated on CHO with, and then it'll repeat." I said with a sigh. "So your only hope to date Cho would be to be her pick to cheat on another boyfriend with."

Of course, Harry looked scandalized by the very thought. "I can't do THAT! I think I'm over her, I just can't respect someone who cheats on a boyfriend or girlfriend!" I gave a small cough.

"I hate to say I told you so…" I asked innocently, studying my nails. Dang. I need to work on my innocent look.

Cho hates me, I hate Cho. But she puts on a GREAT act for everyone else, so the world is under the impression that Cho is a beautiful girl who has the misfortune to be disliked by an annoying twerp like me. Any time I mention the things she does to me, like putting ink in my pumpkin juice and dying my hair green, Mandy and Harry just roll their eyes and think I'm crazy. Usually, they blame it on Fred and George, but their pranks never hurt anyone! Well, except Malfoy. Back to the conversation...

"Oh. You said that? Well, if she cheats, she isn't the girl I thought she was," Harry said definitively. I grinned, but covered instantly. YESSSSSS!! Score: Cho-0, Katie-6! The six were pranks I'd pulled on her, and the last point was getting Harry to stop liking her. Heehee...yeah, I keep score. And I didn't give her any points for pranks because they required no skill. ANYONE can levitate ink over to a cup with an Invisible spell on it. Also, ANYONE can enchant someone's hair. So, no points for her. But managing to get a pig to think Cho's head was it's trough? Now that takes ART, my friends. ART.

"Pssssst, Harry, isn't that lady the bloke you told us about from the hearing?" Ron hissed to Harry. Harry nodded, but I stared at him.

"Hearing? Harry James Potter, you had a hearing and you didn't even bother to write and tell me?! WHEN I COULD'VE GOTTEN YOU OUT OF IT WITH MY CONTACTS?!" I hissed at him. I had to be quiet, because the speeches were starting. Harry looked at me wide-eyed.

"You didn't know?" was all he said. I could've THROTTLED him.

"I was in goddamn CALIFORNIA on a mission for the Order! Not England! And they don't exactly write me about everything, I have to hear it in a conversation!" I answered angrily, completely ignoring the toadlike lady who was now talking. Only Hermione was paying attention.

"Katie, I'm sorry, I honestly thought you knew!" he said pathetically. I grinned wryly.

"Eh, just freaking TELL me next time! I don't believe it! At my last visit to the Ministry, I dropped plenty of hints to Fudge that you were a really great guy! How the bloody hell did you get on his bad side after all my hard work??" I whispered confusedly. He looked at me, shocked.

"What? You have regular visits to the Ministry?" he replied. I nodded.

"My grandfather invested a ton of Galleons into it. It was no big, seriously! It was only a little bit of his money, but they got all excited. So I go on the pretense of making sure they're using it well!" I answered nonchalantly. Harry stared at me.

"WHAT?" he hissed back at me. I sighed.

"I'm rich, Harry. Get over it. I'm filthy rich. Yeah. Okay. Past the point. My Granddad died before my 'disgrace' at being put in Gryffindor, so he transferred a quarter of his fortune to my vault at Gringotts. My mom's his only kid, and my dad was practically my Granddad's favorite of Mum's suitors, so they each got a quarter. My brother, the proper Slytherin brat, was in his seventh year, so he got a quarter, and Granddad doted on me because I was the only person in the WORLD who made him almost smile occasionally, so I got a quarter of his money as well as his actual belongings. Maybe he didn't trust Mum and Dad with it, he probably knew that they'd sell it as soon as possible. So I have my own house and everything. And my parents can't take it. But I like staying with Mandy as much as possible, because her parents don't try to kill me. And I need parents so I don't go all crazy," I said quickly, trying to get all the information out as fast as possible. He sat in silence for a few moment to process this.

"You mean you could pretty much do anything you want and just pay off the Ministry so they won't punish you?" he asked. I nodded. He grinned. Which is when I realized exactly what I'd just said and to whom.

"Harry, no. I am NOT going to do something reckless and throw away my fortune. I live on that money, Harry. It's my life savings. Yeah, it might be a heck of a lot, but my house elves tell me that it takes a lot of money to continuously restock the food. So, no. I'm not helping you in this reckless plan, whatever it may be." I answered to his unspoken question. He sighed.

"Fine..." he whined. "Why did you have to choose _now _to go mature on me?"

"What was that?!" I glared at him evilly, fork in hand and ready to stab.

"Nothing…" He slumped back in his seat, playing with his food and trying to look as small as possible. I laughed and grabbed another mouthful of potatoes.

Scattered applause suddenly shattered the almost silent Hall. The toadlady-I mean Professor Umbridge- sat down and Dumbledore dismissed everyone to the dorms, thank Merlin. I jogged over to Mandy.

"Password's raven!" I whispered. "See you at the Truth or Dare fest!" Mandy grinned.

"Wouldn't miss it for ANYTHING!" she answered. You see, it all started on the first day of my first year. I started this huge game of Truth or Dare with all the Gryffindors and Mandy, and everyone loved it. So now we do it every year on the first day! The first time, Harry and I had the misfortune to be next to each other and be friends, so Fred dared us to kiss. Yeah, that was embarrassing. But that's when I started to get a sort of a friendly crush on him because he didn't get all awkward about it. He laughed it off, and the game continued, and we were closer than before. I've known since then that I could flirt as much as I want with him and still have it go nowhere officially. He's just one of those guys that's really fun to flirt with! It doesn't have to mean I like him…Especially after that miserable train ride…

"Hey, guys!" I called out to the trio. They waited for me. After I joined them, Harry started up the talk about my money again.

"Harry, for the last time, NO, I am NOT going to help you get in trouble and toss some Galleons at the Ministry to let us off free! It's not moral!" I exploded. He looked at me, mortally wounded.

"I wasn't going to ask that again! I was just telling Hermione and Ron!" Ron looked at me bug-eyed, but Hermione just groaned.

"I already knew! She invited us all to her house for Christmas first year, remember? And you guys said no, but I went and had a blast!" she said exasperatedly. I smiled at her.

"Remember those cute guys that delivered the pizza?" I said, giggling. Hermione laughed too.

"They must have thought we were crazy! How old must they have been? Seventeen?" We both cracked up at the memory. Ron looked at Hermione, his eyes narrowing.

"So you guys flirted with some guys that were six years older than you, and I just gave them the money!" Mandy laughed. She had made her excuses to the prefects to come over and meet up with us. "Oh, yeah, Katie, I'm supposed to be borrowing a leopard print thong. It was Diana's idea. So…Got one handy?"

I snorted at the idea. "Oh, yeah, in my back pocket! Sure, mate, let me get one for you!"

"Eh, it was worth a shot. I'll just conjure one. But now Kerrigan knows who you are; he looked positively delighted at the idea!" she teased.

"Kerrigan? _Matt Kerrigan _is the Ravenclaw prefect?! Are you for serial?!" I gasped with delight before turning to Ron instantly. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, you are giving me the password for the prefects' bathroom! This is my golden opportunity to finally actually meet the famous Matt Kerrigan!"

"In the bathrooms? I think you have a little more than meeting in mind, Katie. And it's against the rules." Darn that sensible Hermione. Darn her like a sock.

"Yeah, well, a little this, a little that…" I winked scandalously, sending the others into riots of laughter. Harry smirked, but I could swear that I saw something other than humor in his eyes. Something like...jealousy? Could it be? Nah...Harry doesn't like me remember? I shook off the feeling that he might actually like me with the memory that they didn't have of what had happened on the train ride over. _I don't like him anymore_, I firmly reminded myself before sprinting up ahead to the Fat Lady and pulling open the portrait hole for my fellow Truth-or-Dare-ians. This would be a rather interesting game this year...


	4. Pasties and P's

Miranda Kelsey Stewart Mandy's POV

"Password's raven!" Katie whispered. "See you there!"

"Wouldn't miss it for ANYTHING!" I grinned as Katie jogged back to the Gryffindor table.

"Annual Truth-or-Dare?" said Diana. She gave me a knowing smile.

"Of course! Are you sure you don't want to come this year?"

"No, I think I'll just unpack tonight." I asked her to join us every year, and the answer was always the same. Diana was a little shy in big groups, and would always prefer sitting next to the fire in the Common Room with a nice long book to going to a loud party. "Say hi to Angelina for me, though!" She was Angelina Johnson's younger sister, but if you didn't know, you wouldn't be able to tell.

"I will. How about you two? Up for a round of Truth-or-Dare?" I asked, looking across the table at my other two Ravenclaw friends.

Jennifer was putting the finishing touches on the sculpture of Hogwarts she was making out of her mashed potatoes. It was actually quite good, for a sculpture made out of a vegetable. After she completed the Astronomy Tower, she looked up. "Sorry, Mandy, but I think I'll just relax tonight. I have a sketch I want to finish..."

"You always have a sketch you want to finish," said Stan jokingly. His arm was around Jennifer's shoulders, his fingers playing with her light brown curls. Jennifer gave him a warm smile. When Stan asked her out at the end of last year, they instantly clicked as a couple. Of course, they had clicked before then...Diana and I could tell they were crushing on each other the year before, although they wouldn't admit to anything. At first, it was a bit awkward for us because our foursome was becoming a couple and two friends, but we got used to it. I think Jennifer and Stanley are absolutely perfect for each other...I hate to admit it, but sometimes I'm a little jealous of Jennifer for having a boyfriend who loves her. Sometimes it feels so hopeless...I don't know if Neville and I will **ever** get together. I can't keep from wishing, still, that something might happen...

"Is that a no for you, then, Stan?" I gave him my puppy eyes.

"Yep. Sorry, but I'd rather not be dared to streak through the first-year's dormitory wearing nothing but a leopard-print thong, thank you! Not my cup of tea." He said, holding back a smile.

"Oh, come on! That was just that one time! It won't happen again!"

"Thanks to Professor McGonagall it won't happen again..." muttered Stan in Jennifer's ear. She laughed.

"I heard that! Well, I'll just go tell Katie no one else is coming, and I'll be back to unpack my things, all right?" I said as the students were dismissed by Professor Dumbledore.

"Wait, what are you going to tell the prefects?" Stan called after me. I stopped in mid run, nearly tripping over my robes as I remembered that I needed an excuse first.

"Oh, darn! I used my best one last year!" I cried desperately, my brain freezing as I ran through thousands of options in my head. Last time I'd snuck away, I told the prefect that Katie had borrowed my book of jinxes and was very prone to practicing on people studying in the library. I must say, I'm fairly well known for imaginative jinxes with obscure counters…

"Say that you need your thong back!" Diana called after me, giving me a wave.

"No, that's no good, what if the prefect asks what it looks like?" Jen scolded. She always was one for the perverted thoughts…

"Leopard print!" Stan yelled loudly, attracting stares from the nearby Hufflepuffs. I grinned.

"Got it! Thanks, you guys!" I dodged the gaze of Penelope Clearwater and hurried to find Katie in the sea of Hogwarts robes. I finally spotted her brightly streaked hair and thought I was home free until -

"Where do you think you're going?" Matt Kerrigan was blocking my path. Katie's love from afar. The handsomest bloke in all of Hogwarts was standing in front of me, and he was wearing a prefect's badge. My face was a shade that rivaled only my hair in brightness.

"K-k-katie Darren has something I n-n-needed to b-borrow..." I stammered quietly, trying to look at the ground but having a rather hard time of it considering his perfect face was directly in front of mine. Boy, Katie really does have good taste in her blokes…

"And that would be…?" He raised one eyebrow disbelievingly. It's especially hard to sneak away from the prefects when they know about the Truth or Dare fest and have explicit orders not to let any students in other common rooms on the first day of classes especially.

"Her leopard print thong!" I burst out, finally ripping my eyes away from his face and staring determinedly at the ground, knowing full well that I was about to lose my house points ALREADY. Really, I should have thought of a different excuse. THIS is why I'm not in Gryffindor.

But Kerrigan wasn't answering me. I chanced a glance up at him through my bangs and noticed with interest that his face had turned bright red and he seemed to be smiling vacantly.

"Er…Kerrigan?" I asked hesitantly. He snapped back to himself, shaking his shaggy blonde hair out of his almond shaped eyes and biting his lip awkwardly.

"Yes, well, that seems to be completely in order!" he muttered with…was that embarrassment or delight? I skirted around him wonderingly and began to walk towards Katie again. "Er, and Stewart- erm, I mean Mandy?"

I turned in shock. Matt Kerrigan knew my name. MATT KERRIGAN! "Yes?" I said, completely in a daze.

"Would you mind letting Kati- er, I mean, Darren- know that I'll be coming as well?" His face was redder than my hair. I didn't even know that was possible.

"Erm…sure."

I spun around again and fought my way over to Katie in the crowded hall. After chatting with her and Hermione for a minute about good times in first year (apparently Harry was being a prat again and couldn't remember that Katie was open about her past), I changed the subject back to the party. She wasn't expecting my friends to come, they HAVE declined the invitation for five years now, and she gave me the password without asking. I hurried up to the Ravenclaw common room, knowing that Diana and Jen would be waiting in our dorm.

I rushed past the library (one of my favorite places in Hogwarts) and down a corridor that was pretending to be a wall. Finally, I saw the knocker on the wall that marked the entrance to the common room. I rapped it firmly and waited for the riddle.

"Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?"

I sighed. Sometimes, it forgot the riddles it had already used. "A circle has no beginning and no end, but if a choice were to be made, the phoenix is born in the flame."

"Nicely reasoned, quite factual," the misty voice said approvingly as the wall swung inwards and I walked into the familiar bustle of the Ravenclaw common room. A blue fire flickered in the fireplace and many first years stood around in bunches, nervous and awkward. I smiled and headed over to my dormitory.

"Mandy!" I said loudly as I entered. It's a rule in our dorm to announce yourself when you come in, just in case someone's changing or anything. We've been doing it since first year, when Jennifer accidentally flashed Marietta when she barged in without warning. Diana was just finishing folding her last set of robes when I came in. Jennifer was tacking up her many watercolors and charcoal sketches, taking up most of her wall space. Cho and Marietta were sitting on their beds, chatting animatedly to each other. They waved as I strode over to my bed, right next to Diana's.

"That new teacher was horribly dull, wasn't she, Jen? Not looking forward to Defense Against the Dark Arts this year..." said Diana as she began tacking up photos of her family above her bed.

"Diana Johnson, I'm surprised at you! Now, if **Di** says a teacher's dull, then she must be excruciatingly boring!" Jennifer and I laughed. I began stacking my folded clothes into my drawers as Diana defended herself.

"She was! And I've thought teachers were boring before!"

"Name one!" I said, skeptically.

Diana was silent. "Okay, fine, maybe I haven't..." she said finally, a blush spreading across her dark cheeks. I giggled as I slipped into a comfy grey skirt and my favorite shirt. It was forest green, and had a small purple dragonfly on the shoulder. I got it shopping in New York City on our trip over to America.

"Gotta go, see you tonight!" I waved to my roommates and headed out the door, anticipating a night to remember.

I arrived outside the Fat Lady just as Fred and George did, although I didn't know it was them at first. The Weasley twins were carrying an enormous amount of food with them. I hurried to catch a bottle of Butterbeer that had been teetering from on top of a pumpkin pie at a very precarious angle.

"Hi Fred, George! Hungry, are you?"

"Is that the lovely Miranda I hear? Get this pasty for me, would you?" said George. I caught it quickly. George has had this odd habit of calling me 'the lovely Miranda' ever since he learned I was the lead in my elementary school play, you know, the one I mentioned earlier? Apparently he thought a 'star' like that needed a fancier name, and so I became 'the lovely Miranda'. For goodness's sake, I don't think playing Alice in Alice in Wonderland in second grade quite qualifies as stardom, but I put up with it.

"Raven," I said, looking up at the Fat Lady.

"You know, I'm really not supposed to let you in," she said scoldingly. Every year she feels guilty for letting a Ravenclaw into the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Open UP!" cried the twins exasperatedly. One of the sacks of Bertie Bott's Fred was holding slipped out of his arms. I caught it just before it hit the floor.

"All right, all right, but don't say I didn't try and stop you!" the Fat Lady chuckled as the portrait swung forward.

"Blimey, someday I think I'll draw a mustache on that woman..." Fred said in an undertone as he passed me.

"Not a bad idea..." George winked at me. I rolled my eyes and caught a pumpkin pie that fell from the top of his mountain of food as he climbed in through the portrait hole. I noticed Kerrigan behind us with my peripheral vision but didn't say anything. Fred and George knew about her crush on him (all her friends did), and I didn't want her to be embarrassed. Fred can be a tad bit cruel to her interests sometimes; it may have something to do with his not-quite-hidden interest in her. It's really too bad that he'd noticed the bloke on his own. Really. It had nothing to do with me at all. I absolutely did NOT poke him in the side and shoot meaningful glances at him. Nope. Not me. I would never do such a thing, not even to a pompous and perverted mean old prefect with a slightly pedophiliac crush on my best mate!

**Katie's POV**

I sat on my favorite poofy red armchair, staring blankly into the roaring fireplace. So many things had happened that I didn't know what to think about, it was hard enough to just process the idea that Harry had found out about my earthshakingly big tiny little crush and forgotten about it in the same day. Wow. Yeah. Try having THAT happen to you on the first day back at school. Then add over protective friends, a slight interest in a certain friend's older brother (who is another friend), a crush-from-afar on the handsomest bloke in school, and a best friend with crush issues of her own who won't own up to them. Yeah. Welcome to my life. Ok, so I was just sitting on the couch watching the fire when GUESS WHAT?!

No, really. You have to guess. I'm not telling you. No, I'm really serious this time. I am NOT going to crack! I WILL OVERCOME THE TEMPTATION TO SPILL-Fredcameoverandsatnexttomeandputhisarmaroundme!! SQUEEEEEEEEE! Ok, so that was me squealing my puny little head off. MOVING ON from my slight humiliation.

"HOLY-Oh, it's just you. JEEZ, Fred, what are you trying to do, give me a HEART ATTACK?" I yelled, jumping somewhere between three inches and the height of a Quidditch hoop. Closer to the second one, really. Fred grinned- which was really quite cute, even though I could TELL that he was blushing because, um, he's a redhead and redhead's blush even more than I do when I'm blonde-and said in the sweetest, most innocent sounding voice I've ever heard, "Katie, will you go open the portrait hole for me?"

I hopped up, both hands on my hips, and gave him a glare that he'd never seen before (except maybe on his mother). "Fred Weasley, what did you do this time??" He attempted to act ashamed, but come on. Fred Weasley? Ashamed of a prank? You have **got** to be kidding me!

"Not much...I only asked the lovely Miranda to hold onto all my food before jumping through the portrait hole and closing it in their faces..." Fred trailed off, noticing my death glare getting even more death-glare-ish.

"They?" I said in a dangerously quiet voice. He looked down at the ground and bounced his toe on the ground in a caricature of a bashful and embarrassed little boy. "I will give you five seconds to tell me what it is that you have done or you will regret your birth!"

He looked up, a wide grin painted over his freckled face. "Well, Matt Kerrigan was out there too!"

My eyes widened and I stormed over to the portrait hole and slammed it open, scaring the bejeezus out of George, Mandy, and a distinctly food-covered Matt. The two redheads clambered through as I turned back to Fred with a very scary look on my face. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come off it, Keek, it's just pumpkin pasties!" he sighed exasperatedly, sharing a conspiratorial wink with his twin and…Mandy? Nah, must have imagined that part…

"Kerrigan, I'm so sorry, Fred can be a bit of a prat to newcomers sometimes!" I apologized as I helped the blonde into the common room. He smiled through the orange paste covering his face.

"No permanent harm done, Darren, it's fine! After all, where's the fun in Truth or Dare without a food fight?" he teased back, flashing his brilliantly white teeth at me. Even being covered in food can't make him less sexy! "Just let me go get cleaned up and I'll be right back for the game, yeah?" I grinned at him and pointed out the boy's dormitory stairs, watching him head off to use one of the bathrooms. I thought I heard a distinct gagging noise behind me as I stared dreamily at his handsome back and instantly snapped back into Kate-Monster mode.

"Fred and George Weasley, I cannot BELIEVE you! And what did you do with the midgets? Usually I have to fight them for that chair!" I scolded, nodding towards the armchair I had been sitting in. Fred grinned mischievously.

"Let's just say I started the tradition of Sticking Spells earlier than usual this year."

"UGH!" I groaned angrily. "You are INCORRIGIBLE!"

"Ooooh, Fred, what did you do this time? You got Katie to use a big word!" Harry joked, climbing through the open portrait hole. George and Mandy had deposited their mounds of goodies on top of a large, convienently located, round table in the middle of the room. I mock groaned, unable to stop myself from grinning slightly, and ran over to Harry. My morphing kicked in as I ran, making me look like a first year. Hehehe...midgets...

"Hawwy, Fwed ith being a meanie-pantth! Hawwy, you'we tho thtwong, can you make him thtop? Pweez?" I lisped, tugging on the hem of his robes. Harry looked down and started laughing when he saw my amazingly talented (shut up, you're just jealous) imitation of a female Colin Creevey.

"Only if you promise to NEVER use that voice or shape again!" he somehow managed to choke out between his very mature snorting. Mmmhmm. Yup. Mature DEFINITELY describes Harry James Potter. Totally. Completely. If you can't figure out that I'm being sarcastic right now, then you fail at life. Ooooo, if you try to commit suicide and fail, do you fail at life AND death?? Hmmm...Interesting...Another question: Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? I mean, he isn't a WIZARD, that's pretty obvious from the fact that he's a blooming idiot for the entire first half of the Disney movie! Well, I guess he's a bit smarter than Goyle. But nicer. Much nicer. He'd be a Hufflepuff, probably. Whoopsie! I'm spacing again!

Harry waved his hands in front of my face. "Katie. KATIE. Snap out of it!" I grinned up at him as I morphed into my favorite form: long red hair, hazel eyes, pale skin, kinda on the short side but whatever, short is awesome!

"You're just jealous of my amazing three p-ness!" I burst out without really thinking about it. Three P's? What the bloody hell are the three p's? Uh-oh, I'd better think fast!

"Er...Christmas tree?" It was Mandy that asked the inevitable question. I smiled happily, completely concealing the fact that I had no idea what the three p's are. "Yesh, me luverly Menorah?" Don't ask about the nicknames. Just don't. Because I'm not Christian, and she's not Jewish. It'll all be explained sometime in the nearish-far future.

"What are the three p's?"

"Um...Perfection, procrastination, and pupule-ism!!" I yelled as loud as I could. Ron gave me a weird look.

"Katie, what's pupule-ism? I've never heard that word before." Hermione said exasperatedly. I grinned.

"Clearly you don't speak Hawaiian!"


	5. Note to ASC

I'm just writing this in response to the one review I've received

I'm just writing this in response to the one review I've received.

Thank you to ASC for posting a review, I appreciate your opinion, and I must respectfully decline your rather forceful suggestions. I also would like to say that while you may be the type of person who generally goes around speaking your mind to whomever it pleases you with no worries whatsoever for the other person's feelings, I would respect your opinion much more if you did not post anonymously and if you offered constructive advice. And no, I do not consider telling someone to stop writing "literary excrement" constructive.

Think what you want, there is absolutely no way that I can change your opinion of either me or what I write. I'm not going to offer explanations for why I don't follow the plotline, or for why my writing seems to be an "epileptic seizure". I agree that there is no plotline, I never denied that, and I agree that there is no sense of direction because I had no direction in mind when I began writing this. It doesn't matter why I wrote it or why you posted the review. But I am not going to stop writing this "literary excrement" even if you believe it is crap, and I will not stop posting it on whatever website I choose because you are not the only person in the world, despite that you seem to believe yours is the only opinion that matters.

If you have the nerve to respond to this, I will respect you a hell of a lot more. Then again, that really isn't saying much because if respect could go into negative numbers, mine for you would be well below zero.


End file.
